Miracles and Afterthoughts

 There were so many small miracles that occurred the night I passed the Kidney Stone.

1. It was a Monday. Meaning, we were in one city for over 24 hours and I had a hotel room rather than being on the road. I cannot imagine.

2. I was with a friend who had a car in a city where there weren't any Ubers around on a Monday night. If I had been at the hotel, it would have taken a lot of extra time to order a taxi to get to the hospital.

3. The bar, hospital, and hotel were all within a couple miles of each other.

4. The time difference allowed me to stay in touch with my parents the entire time.

5. I was in a state that accepts Medicaid and I actually had my card on me.

6. The average time it takes for a kidney stone to pass is within 1-2 WEEKS! Mine passed in less than 4 hours!!!!

7. My phone was fully charged and I had my headphones.

8. I wore comfortable pants that didn't have any metal on them so I didn't have to struggle out of them before the CT Scan.

If I had to have a kidney stone while on tour, this was the PERFECT time and place for it to happen. Everything could have been SO much worse. Praise God for these miracles!

Another cathartic moment I had after that night, was when I realized how proud I was that I went through that night alone. While it would have been nice to have someone there to absorb and relay information while I was writhing in pain, I never felt like I couldn't handle what was happening. I knew how to ask questions and keep the nurses informed of my needs, and ask for help when necessary. I enjoyed the silence and solitude and I never felt panicked or sad that I didn't have someone there to hold my hand or tell me I would be okay, because I already knew that. I was able to focus on myself and my situation and just take it all moment by moment, breath by breath.

Maybe I was too distracted by the pain to care, or maybe that's the peace that surpasses all understanding... As I write this, I chuckle to myself because Philippians 4:6 (Do not be anxious about anything, Instead, in every situation with prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. And the peace that surpasses all understanding with guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ.) is literally the verse that finds me in every major moment of crisis. I see you, God. 

Anyway, it's a strange revelation to feel proud of myself for not needing anyone and for actually preferring to be alone. It makes me feel like I can do anything.




 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Little Bunk

Image
 I have one of the front bottom bunks (starboard side if you're familiar with ship terms). If I toured again, I would probably choose a higher bunk in the back instead. I am closest to the door to the front lounge and the bathroom and I get 100% of the foot traffic walking through the bunk area. To get into my bunk, I do a technique I call the "stop, drop, and roll." Who knew elementary fire safety would prepare me for tour bus life in my 30's?  We only have about a foot and a half of head room in each bunk so you can't sit up. I bump my head at least twice a day trying to adjust my covers, reach for something at the end of the bunk, or just getting in and out. There is one power outlet by my feet and a bright lamp above my head. There are also two vents that I keep closed at all times because they blow freezing cold recycled air and directly on my face.  Sometimes we get some weird smells that come through said vents... The septic tanks hadn't been cleaned ou...
Read more

Home Is Where the Mouse Is!

Image
 It's been over 8 years since I last blogged during a contract...so I think that means it's time to start it up again! I'm on tour! This time it's a real Rockstar Tour Bus tour. After years of multiple roommates and tiny cruise ship cabins, I never thought I'd subject myself to such close quartered communal living again, but here we are!  I first auditioned for this tour in 2018. At the time, it was called Disney Junior Dance Party, and I made it to final callbacks for a dancer track. Although it was a Disney show, the creative team consisted of notable names in the commercial dance world, the rate was high, and it was clear it would be way more than "just a kid's show." Obviously I didn't book it, but in the back of my mind, I hoped that someday I would have the opportunity. The tour was in circulation for a few years, but of course Covid threw a wrench in any 2020 plans. Fast forward to Spring 2022 when I received an email from my agent inquiring...
Read more